TJC

So The Joint Commission is here this week…

Yay.

If you don’t know, TJC is an accrediting body for hospitals that makes sure we are doing things according to acceptable standards. In all honesty, it’s a good thing. It makes sure we are on our sh!t. I am okay with that.

However…

When TJC visits it turns every unit into chaos! What do I mean? Well, each hospital gets a “heads up” that TJC may be visiting within a date range. This sends every manager and compliance officer into a panic. Typically it goes a little something like this:

“Is this dated?”

“When does that expire?”

“Move this stuff out of the hallway and even though we have no true place to store it, FIND SOMEWHERE!”

“Do you know where the evacuation plans are for this unit?”

“Where are the fire extinguishers located?”

“How long does it take the purple wipes to disinfect?”

“What about the gray wipes?”

“And the red ones?”

“What is the temp on the fridge?”

“Where is the temperature log?”

“Where is the check sheet for the code cart?”

“Is there an expiration date on the Accucheck controls?” 

“All cups must have a lid on them or I am throwing them away!”

This continues for the entire week that TJC is in the hospital. All those things that we should have *technically* already been doing, we are going to do them all RIGHT NOW. I have been lucky. For eight years I worked 1900-0700. TJC is not in the hospital at night and neither is management so I avoided most of the shenanigans. Now I work days and evenings. I am now in the line of fire. I have been on my toes all this week just waiting to see the group of them come around the corner. So far I have avoided them. Let’s hope my luck continues!

That’s so gross

You would think the grossest thing that I have seen as a nurse would involve the patient.

Oddly enough, no.

I can say for sure the grossest thing I have seen is the patient’s family member(s) sleeping on the floor of the room.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN ON THAT FLOOR?!?!?

I have walked into the room and nearly tripped over a family member sleeping peacefully on the floor. I was immediately freaked out. Like, what makes someone think sleeping on a hospital floor is safe or sanitary?

Oh, you have to get up off that floor honey.

There have been soiled linens, blood, body fluids that I can’t describe, EVERYTHING on that floor. Glare all you want but I’m not leaving you down there.

People think hospitals are far cleaner than they actually are…

Healthy nursing

I’m fat. I don’t say this to elicit responses of “aw don’t say that!” or “you’re thick, not fat!”. No. I say this because it is what it is. I am about 50 pounds overweight. Forget the BMI. I will always be borderline obese unless I get down to a weight that I am not comfortable with. I have hit a weight in which it has become uncomfortable. I have hit a weight that affects my work. I can’t walk up a flight of stairs. My knees hurt. My scrubs are all tight in the thighs and they are all a large at least. Don’t get me started on trying to do CPR. Two minutes of chest compressions and I am about to die. I’m telling the patient to participate in physical therapy while looking like I need it too. I’m 34. That’s not ok.

I know when all of this started. My back got really bad last year stemming from an old work-related injury. Being the hard-headed nurse that I am, I ignored it until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. My coworkers, who have been awesome at helping me not stress my back anymore, convinced me to go see an orthopedic doc. I finally did in October of 2017. Several appointments and a bilateral L4,5 and S1 denervation later, I finally feel like myself again. The back pain has decreased dramatically. So now I have no excuse. I used to go to the gym regularly to destress. I am going back. I still have my gym membership and dammit it’s time I use it!

I want to be the nurse that can grab the code cart and not need a breathing treatment by the time I get it to the room. Not cute…

I am giving myself six months to drop these 50 pounds. I’m realistic. I know if I try to give myself too short of a timeline I will get discouraged. I want to be a healthy nurse again. My patients deserve me at my best.

Charge

I’m a charge nurse on my unit. I actually wasn’t comfortable taking on that role but my coworkers thought I would do well so I said ok.

Some days I regret that decision.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy having new responsibilities. I like seeing nursing from a different perspective. I rather enjoy the decision making that is left in my hands.

I do not enjoy the stupidity that I encounter. For instance, our OR and ER are fully aware that because of the way EPIC is set up, we need an admission order placed by the physician so that bed center can place the patient on our bed board. If the patient is not on our bed board then we cannot pull them onto our unit list and thus we cannot get into their chart once they arrive to our unit. If we can’t get into their chart then we can’t see their orders. If we can’t see their orders then we can’t carry them out. They know this. It never fails, however, the doc will call us to tell us they need a bed but not put in the order. Once they arrive to the unit, they want to look at us crazy because we can’t start carrying out their orders and draw admission labs. It is now to the point that if the admission order isn’t in then we just don’t take report. Why? Why do we have to go through this!

I also do not enjoy the micromanaging. There is a list that charge nurses have to carry out each night. I have to check and see if everyone’s admission database is done, whether each patient has an up to date blood band, whether each patient has ICU and blood consent, whether each patient with restraints has an up to date restraint order, and whether or not each patient has a daily weight. Because heaven forbid we hold nurses accountable for their patients! I understand some of the list. I know when I have patients I rarely check the admission database. There are typically too many other things taking place for me to worry about that at 0034 in the morning. Consents though? As the nurse, I should be checking those. I feel like it’s micromanaging. More importantly, how are nurses going to form the habit of checking for consents and active blood bands if I am always doing it for them? It is my least favorite thing to do and everyone knows it.

Overall, I am still glad that I decided to become a charge nurse. I have a greater understanding of why assignments are the way they are sometimes. I understand how difficult it is to decide who is getting the next admission. I understand the frustration involved with moving patients out just to make room to get patients in. I realize now that the reason I am just learning of the admit I am getting, because ER is on the phone to give me report, is because the charge nurse is just learning of the admission as well. Things that I used to take as a personal strike against me no longer bother me. I realize the charge nurse doesn’t have the time to spiteful. It’s too damn busy for all of that. Being in charge has given me a whole new perspective.

Helpful hint

So you’ve put in an naso/oro- gastric tube. Great! Did you verify placement? If so, how? Did you immediately get gastric contents back when you aspirated? Did you listen and confirm placement in the stomach? Did you use the CO2 detector that some institutions have?

I ask because I ran into a situation in which an OG tube was placed in the ER before my patient was sent to me. Helpful. Thanks. Except it wasn’t helpful at all. My new admission’s abdomen was quite distended despite the OG tube. I connected the tube to wall suction and got nothing out. I changed the canister and tubing just to make sure it wasn’t something wrong on that end. Nothing. I listened and couldn’t quite say with 100% certainty that I heard it in the stomach. Hmm… Not sure I want to use this…

And then he vomited. A lot. And kept vomiting while I held the yankauer in his mouth to keep him from aspirating.

Nope, that OG wasn’t in.

So, I took it out and decided to try my luck at placing an NG instead of an OG. As soon as the tube hit 60 cm in depth contents start pouring out. No need to auscultate that! Hooked it to suction and in about five minutes I got a full liter of contents out of him. Oh look, his abdomen isn’t as distended now…

I say all of that to say this: verify placement! However you choose to do so, make sure you KNOW that the NG or OG is in the stomach and not curled up in the back of the throat. Have someone verify it behind you if you aren’t sure. If all else fails, take it out. I would rather you send me a patient without a tube than send me a patient with a misplaced tube.

Go pee!

Hey… Hey you, busy nurse, go pee!

I know you have a blood sugar to grab. I know your other patient wants his 250th cup of ice. Yes, someone has labs due as well. Go pee. Seriously. It’s OK. All those things that you need to do will be there when to get back. I’m sure there is someone you can delegate some of your tasks to. You have to take a moment for yourself.

Go pee. Your bladder will thank you.

Forever alone

Sometimes I feel “forever alone” when I am around non-nursing people. As a nurse I get to be a part of something amazing. I’ll always be proud I am a nurse. I don’t feel like my profession makes me better than anyone else. I do feel like my profession changed me.

I have seen death first hand.

I have had to hold back tears while a family kisses their 16 year old goodbye. I have watched a person suffer in the ICU because the family guilted them into remainding a full code, and endure multiple surgeries that ultimately wouldn’t fix anything, until they finally passed away in that bed. I have watched families lose hope as the transplanted organ fails. I have had to comfort patients after a devastating diagnosis.

I have had my ass handed to me at work.

I have worked 12 straight hours without being able to eat or even stop to pee. I have dealt with physical and emotional abuse at the hands of patients and their loved ones. I have been talked down to by medical professionals that feel they are above me thanks to a difference in degrees.

I hold it all in when I’m with family and non nursing friends. When people say my job is “easy” since I work nights and everyone is asleep, I just laugh. When people are certain I’m “paid” because nurses make “so much money”, I just stare blankly. I listen to people complain about their jobs intently while they dismiss my complaints because I knew nursing was hard.

It can make you feel alone.

It’s not all family members and not all non-nursing friends but enough to make me not talk about my job unless I am talking to a select few. It’s why the nursing community is so INVALUABLE to me. We can swap stories about the worst of the worst. We can laugh about some seriously dark sh*t with no judgment! We understand each other. The nursing community keeps me from feeling “forever alone”. Sometimes we are all we’ve got 😁!

Good morning to you too 😒

Hi management, how are you? It’s nice to see you all bright eyed and bushy tailed. You’re coming off of a full nights sleep. You have quite a bit of energy huh? Sure you do. 

I don’t.

I just finished 12 hours of getting my ass handed to me. I’ve done two CT trips tonight. I got a sh*t show from the OR. I got yelled at by a doc for labs not sent from the previous shift. I finally ate this morning at 5 am and that was at the desk. 

You would know this if you came in and asked me how the night was instead of complaining about the cup at the desk without a lid. No, I haven’t read the email you sent because I haven’t had the time. Yes, the EKG machine is sitting outside a room. You know what else is outside that room? The code cart. It’s been that kind of night… But you wouldn’t know that because instead of inquiring about your staff you came in with complaints.

Maybe, just maybe you could say “good morning” first. Maybe you could take 10 extra seconds to get a feel for the unit and how the night was. Maybe you can look at what we accomplished instead of what we missed. Maybe you could manage to come in with a little positivity… Maybe….

Story time no.6

Sitting at the front nursing station when the door rings.

"Delivery for STICU!"

Delivery? It's one in the morning, what the hell is being delivered at one in the…

Oh.

Ohhhhhh…

THE LEECHES!

He's delivering the God forsaken leeches!

I am thoroughly grossed out. I hate leeches. I hate them with every fiber of my being. I can't touch them. I don't even want to look at them… but I need to open the box so we can put the squirmy bastards in their refrigerated tanks.

I managed to open the box. As you can see, I even managed to pick up one of the bags.

That's as far as I got.

Dude was far too squirmy and I was far too grossed out to do anything else with them. God bless our tech for being able to grab the box and take them away from me so she can put them away.

I'm a horrible charge nurse. I'll take that. I'm not touching those bastards though…

Hello nightshift, goodbye normality

I am a nightshift nurse. I have been my entire nursing career. It’s what I am used to and it’s been great for me. Key word: been. I used to love being a nighshifter. You couldn’t get me to work a dayshift if you paid me extra. 

That’s changed. I’m old now. I’ve been a nurse for 7 years, that’s like 21 years in human time. Nursing ages you, quickly. I’m tired. I’m always tired. That’s the problem with nightshift, it goes against your natural rhythms. I’m not supposed to be up wiping ass at 0241 in the morning and yet here I am doing just that. I can’t just have one shift off in between nights anymore either. It’s impossible for me to get anything done because I’m so exhausted that I sleep the whole day away. I’m lucky I live in a house and not apartment because I cannot tell you how many times I have been up cooking and cleaning at like, 2330 at night as if it’s normal. When I have a stretch of days off, I fall back into a normal rhythm, up during the day and down by 2200-ish. That first shift back after a stretch off is BRUTAL. It’s getting harder and harder to adjust back to the nightshift life. I think I may be reaching the end of this “nightshift nursing” thing. Then again, my mouth is far too vulgar for dayshift so…